The fact of the matter is that a man in India is revered by his;
- Family, for he would ensure progression of generation plus money would come in on his wedding as opposed to a girls, where it goes out (dowry)
- Father, for he would take care of business / his old age , etc.
- Mother, for she could boast of her fertility.
- Wife, for having landed future security.
Yet the wonderman fails to deliver at so many levels, especially when viewed from the eyes of an Indian woman. There are different set of rules for men and women; often to a woman’s disadvantage.
On this woman’s day, I am just penning down a few thoughts on this disparity and why. Maybe my readers could help me analyse this paradoxical treatment of Indian women by Indian men!
The trouble with the great Indian Men-tality is that in our homes and families, the boys are taught to respect their mother and sisters but not their gender. Often you would find the men being possessive and protective of izzat of women of their family (due to ill-conceived notions) but have no compunction in sullying/harassing other women.
In fact, Indian (hindi) words for mother and sister are used in terrible ugly abuses, coined no doubt by some man who hadn’t ever had the foggiest idea of respect for a woman.
It’s so common to see Indian men laying down the law for their sisters and wives when it comes to dressing, talking, going out in public, socializing with other men, even decisions pertaining to finances, education and marriage/lifestyle, etc.
Why is it so important to them for women to conform to their rules?
How did these rules/logic come into existence?
Who confirmed that these were right?
Honor killings are a common though often hushed affair in India. No, not just in rural India but cosmopolitan cities as well. And no, not limited to any particular religion or community.
Indian men have little or no bladder control. So it’s not unusual to see them openly piddling on pavements in markets and other public spaces. Wonder what stuff are feminine bladders constructed of – blotting paper perhaps!?!
It alright for the men to show their male member spouting a stream of pee. Dare a woman show a leg, arm or some skin. Why that’s an excuse to molest her because of course she is asking for trouble by tantalizing their mardangi . And lo and behold you have a rape in India which is often swept under the carpet by political leadership as boys will be boys.
Indian male libido is highly enhanced owing to the fact that they are the self-appointed keepers of the land of Kamasutra. So if they desire to have sex (consent doesnt matter), the woman either oblige and enjoy it or scream and cry – but the man will need his satisfaction.
An Indian female by contrast, has no such desires owing to the fact that her sex is not allowed to indulge in sexual fantasies – super mind control you see!!! 😉
Then there is the infamous crotch play, no doubt designed as some exotic mating ritual by the neanderthal man. It’s another matter that the women find it disgusting, often making them scratch their heads – “when is the last time, he washed there?”
Again womanly privates seem to be made of tougher stuff to withstand the urge to itch, scratch or simply play. Maybe they are just overtly hygiene conscious. Feminine OCD I tell you has a lot to answer for this. 😉
If a woman catches the male fancy, she should be flattered and simply catapult to his charms. Never mind if he is unemployed, alcoholic or simply barely educated; or most importantly not to her liking. Saying no, results in the obvious male wrath – ask any acid burn victim in India. Also tell me if you have heard of any woman throwing acid on a man of her ill begotten fancy?
When a woman did dare to declare her love for an Indian man, it led to the disfigurement of her facial features and a public ridicule ( by THE man) which still echoes in the annals of Indian mythology . Anyone remembers Shoorpanakha!?!
It’s traditional for a male colleague to hit on a female one – never mind that he is married, older or simply repulsive. on the other hand, if the woman chooses to have an affair, then she is a shameless hussy out to trample a marriage in the wake of her ambition.
Indian cinema is plagued with double standards of another dimension when it comes to a woman. One hand you will have the ubiquitous Ma (the epitome of piety and sacrifice) and the holier than thou perfection endowed Wife while on the other hand there will be the Slut or Vamp or simply the Item number. It’s ok for a man to serenade his heroine shirtless and for her to accidentally of course, display her ample bosom. But once she is married to him, all western wear disappears from her wardrobe not to mention that her über chic hairstyle also magically transforms into lush long tresses.
Now if only I had this magical formula to make my hair grow at such lengths overnight, sigh!!!!!!
In fact 100 years from now when future sociologists will study us based on our films, literature and news archives; it will offer reams of the strange paradox of the great Indian Men-tality . I shudder at the image we will be perceived with.
The truth of the matter is, Indian male tries to control, subjugate and even torture the woman to feel superior and get her to align with his expectation of her behaviour. Every Indian woman faces this everyday from every man in her life. Be it –
- Husband or son, when it comes to family
- Boss or subordinate, when it comes to work sphere
- Society on the whole, when it comes to choosing her lifestyle
- Even other women…..
Every year, and this year too, there is so much hullabaloo over Woman’s Day by corporates, hospitality chains, clothing and other feminine goods companies to pamper the “weaker” sex but the day after, its she who has to clean up all the mess left behind from the celebrations!
HAPPY WOMAN’S DAY 2017
I will be writing a series of Women oriented post this march; hope you will stay tuned!!!
Linking my post with #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne
Linking up this post with #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville
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