Last week saw me riled up over two “sly” tweets by folks who claim to be a lot (if judging by their Twitter Bio), even dabbling in the mystic arts. The barrage continued till late in the week as some folks messaged those tweet to me asking if all was ok. I gave an instant thanks to the Universe for such friends who cared to check and realised that there are folks whom I need to check in with from time to time as they are truly my well wishers.
Coming back to the slyness, I wondered at my reaction. I mean these two ladies didn’t directly say anything to me – so why did it bother me? Why was I giving power to their words to hurt me?
It was because I was reacting to the unjustness of their words; fearing how others would perceive it and via it, me!
We all have this fear of being judged and constantly looking over our shoulder to ensure we appear correct and proper. But the universal truth is that we cannot please everyone and there is bound to be someone who doesn’t like us. So how to deal with such toxic people who threaten to rue our peace of mind?
” Some people create their own storms and then get mad when it rains.”
This quote hit me hard and I realised that’s exactly what it was. Both these women stabbed me and then told the whole world that they are the ones bleeding. It’s a classic case of toxic people who are insecure about themselves and take out their insecurities by pulling others down. They are basically jealous and self-centered and would like nothing better than to see you hurt by their pettiness.
One of them told me that so many twitter folks reached out to her over my “attack” on her; the ones who have had a fall out with me. Now this got me laughing; it’s truly an oxymoron statement!!! Folks who have had a fall out with me are the ones “comforting” her or rather revelling in the gossip and an opportunity to pull me down. And this “intelligent” damsel is feeling good about it; going as far as to throw it in my face? 😉
Toxic folks like to pretend to the whole world that you are in the wrong, just to ease their conscience about being bad to you. This is how they function to feel good about themselves. No body should try to hold them accountable for their shit as they are above it all.
This is an important lesson that I learnt via both these toxic women and I do thank them from the bottom of my heart for teaching me this. I did initially react a bit to their pettiness by giving out one sly tweet of mine; but I failed miserably at it.
Their pettiness didn’t go unnoticed in the virtual world and its their own perception that got rocked, not mine! I also realised how some people who seem so impressive and awe-inspiring; in reality are just posing and preening with false perceptions to guile people into falling for them. I know better now for two of them and they do seem jaded and fake now.
How do you deal with fake and toxic people in your life? What do you think about such folks?
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I am done with toxic people. There was a time when I used to bother a lot, now I just ignore. Great post.
Thanks Balaka – its good that you are done with them.
Well said, Shalz! I have no time for toxic love and fake people either.
Thanks Soumya – these people just drain one out!!
Toxic people can truly drain you and fill you with negativity. It’s best to remove them from your life and stay away from their drama. And when that isnt possible, for sometimes, they are close family and friends, limiting your interaction with them is best.
Now thats fabulous advice Shilpa – thanks so so much. 🙂
I always wonder how people can be ‘toxic’..I mean, how can they behave this way with others? Don’t they have that thing called ‘conscience’? Don’t they feel guilty, ever?
Trust me they don’t Shilpz cos they are so wrapped up in their self delusion about themselves. And they are basically mean insecure people who want to get ahead in life without putting in much efforts. So pulling down others is the best way for it.
I can’t stand fake people either . But sly tweeting ? How did you figure that out ?
When the things said are seeming familiar to yourself though not wholly true, then you look closely. It’s because it’s half true or deigned to twist things around that makes it sly. For eg: without naming anyone I say a certain lady blogger with Tarot know-how has done X to me – I am sure you will be able to narrow it down to 2-3 ppl in your immediate group of bloggers? I add on another line…. And so it goes….
Ok so that’s how it goes. Not very subtle but definitely sly. Thanks for explaining this nasty process .
Its a dirty thing and very nasty too! I wish peeps wouldnt indulge in it in close pools of contact! Ideal thing would be that you talk it out if something bothers you!
I have also faced a lot with fake and toxic people. Somehow we have to live with them only. So practice letting go and move on.
Thanks Vasantha- sorry to hear this dear. I shall try and follow your advice. Hope you have managed to come smiling out of this too
Life throws all sorts of people at us, some good, some not so good and others purely toxic. It takes years to distinguish between who are and who aren’t really our well-wishers. But once you pick out the rotten eggs, best steer clear of them, lest their rotteness rubs off on you! Thought-provoking piece Shalzz!
Thanks so much Kala so true woman about it taking years to know someone’s true colours. I should be thankful these peeps were outted in a matter of months. You have given me much to be thankful about in this situation. Hugs
I have no time for toxic people or those who are fake and inauthentic. I work with some people who are like that and unfortunately, in management positions. I don’t go out of my way to be friendly to them but given it’s a workplace, I will be professional. They have stabbed me in the back once that I know of and who knows how many times I don’t know of…I continue to remain authentic and fortunately for me, most people know that I am authentic so haven’t bought into some stuff these people have said about me. I also usually view it as something they are lacking — insight into themselves, feeling low about themselves, feeling threatened for whatever reason by the other person. While it doesn’t condone their behaviour, it means at least you can take the higher ground.
Ah Sanchie I so hear your anguish gurl So glad that common sense prevails and you don’t give into this at all. The backstabbing hurts the most esp when these are people who parade their virtuosity in front of everyone yet are such jerks from the inside. I am fuming at these few who have dared to mess with me yet again. Not backing down this time and will call them out over this farce. More power to you darling for staying true and strong
You know this may sound clichèd, but the truth is —as long as mankind continues to inhabit this planet, there will be toxic people. The sooner we accept this fact, the better for us. The good part is you CAN completely ignore their presence and try and stay detached from the drama that they seem so good in creating. You can never ever beat them down to their toxicity, so rise above them and keep your chin up, dear. Hugs…I hope you feel better soon. <3
Thanks so much Esha- and satya vachan there I agree I can’t beat them down to go down to their level and should let it go. But damn I see so red that I just wanna…..
Thanks so much for your ever comforting words, I am blessed to have a friend like you in this blogosphere. Much love and joy to you
Anytime, my friend. Love you too. <3
Awww thank you so much – hugs!!! 🙂
I know toxic people in real life who can shroud the room with complete negativity within a span of seconds. A few of them are real close ones meeting whom I cannot avoid even though if it is once or twice a year. Good thing I live far away from them for most of the year and happy to stay out of touch. These people have given me the invaluable lesson and insight of identifying toxicity and fakes in people. I am unable to imagine the ill-feelings bloggers keep for each other that they spew venom on SM. Where does this come from and why? Shalini, now that you have done your bit about it, better to cut all ties and just be yourself. Negativity can only be put to rest with positivity.
Just two weeks back, I experienced something similar to what you did. And this time, I raised a stink ! And believe you me, it was therapeutic, to say the least. I fumed and raved and ranted for a day, and then finally made it public. Yes, one does hesitate a bit because you risk coming across as a hell raiser , making people uncomfortable. But it is at times like these, that we come to know the true colors of several people ( like you too, say) . The good part is, one gets to separate the wheat from the chaff.
All the very best in your endeavors. Cheers!
Hey there – so glad to welcome a fellow brigand to the group 😉 I know its truly therapeutic and I am feeling high after it. Its a liberating feeling to get it all out of the system!
Yes this is the best way to know the ones who really care and the one who do only drama!!
Thanks so much for your wishes!! 🙂