In greek, the word Nostalgia literally means “pain from an old wound”. One often hears other people reminiscing over the “good ole days” that have gone by. Most notably amongst them are batchmates from school/college who seem to be yearning for their halcyon days of youth.
I have had no such longing for the days gone by and definitely do not wish to be back in school or college. I used to be the gauche, awkward kid who felt like the total misfit as she wasnt part of the “cool” crowd. Yours truly was also a loner and introvert, preferring the company of books to peeps.
Seriously were they ever the good old days?
Though I was an average student, I don’t recall being the teacher’s pet ever. In fact if I ever hark back to those days, I can remember being persecuted by a few. My besties vouch for the same too. So excuse me as I don’t get misty eyed over any of my school teachers.
I havent aligned with any of the school/college groups on whatsapp and not partaken in too many reunions as I seem to find the nostalgic reveries shared there too much to digest. Most folks appear to be aspiring to still be the “cool” ones and for a larger part havent really grown out of their high school complexes.
Moreover the anecdotes seems to have grown larger, embellished in part by grown up fantasy for I had no such recollections of the actual event being so dramatic. Seems now that we are older, we wish to embroider the facts to glorify/vilify; all in the name of nostalgia!
Folks I never spoke to in school or ones who used to be mean to me/my friends, now want to be my besties! It seems I have forgotten how close we used to be!!!!
At one of the reunions, a partially drunken mate kept bugging me to the point of me wanting to slam dunk him down a toilet bowl. I don’t remember being pally with him in school and was offended by him trying to be over familiar with me. Is it a wonder, I don’t attend reunions anymore?
Being connected online doesn’t mean invading privacy!
Initially with the advent of Facebook in 2007, it was the “in” thing to find and connect with your batchmates. I did too as I thought people grow up and would have changed. Ah! but leopards don’t change their spots!! I was hugely disappointed by the many “friends” I connected with and had disconnected with most by the end of that year! It was the pettiness and bitchiness that really got my goat.
Are we ever going to grow out of this narcissism of being the coolest one?
I have been upbraided often for being so aloof and stand offish to not want to be a part of the whatsapp group. But really do I need 300 good morning messages everyday? Not to mention insane number of forwards – religious, funny, political – take your pick!!?
I value my sanity, time and need to connect more than this seemingly close bonding. Its better to pick up the phone and chat with my old friends or wish them on occasions than this mindless exchange on whatsapp where no on ever wants to know the real you.
I am friends with most of my close school mates to date and don’t need whatsapp/Facebook to feel connected to them. When we meet, our conversation rarely ever steers to nostalgic flashback of school days.
I simply realised that getting nostalgic over good old school days was just not for me and if it earns me the sobriquet of being the social pariah with my batchmates; so be it!!
What does school reunion mean to you? Do you get in a tizzy over what to wear / how fat you look, etc when you have to attend one? Would you like to go back to your school days?
I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge and the prompt for the day is Nostalgic
#writebravely #writetribeproblogger
If you would like to read the posts on previous prompts:
I’m taking part in the Write Tribe ProBlogger Challenge.
Also linking it with Sanch for #fridayreflections 
Haha… 300 good morning messages is so true! Nowadays a what’s app group sends alarm bells ringing in my head
I know Neha – tell me about it! I have been saying no to any and every WA group simple because of this! I hate the loads of messages that keep coming in the whole day. People forget why the group was made and senseless stuff!
I was a shy & introvert person and do not have many close friends from school too. But those days were carefree days and does make me nostalgic.
Ah well cherish the memories Aesha when you have them so good! 🙂
Similar boat as yours Shalz I had a few friends and not too many pleasant memories of school or college days. Some of the people suddenly seem overfriendly now and it feels so fake.
Hi five sistah!!! 😉 I hear you! I really started questioning if I had attended the same school and same batch cos the folks seem to be talking of times that I didnt remember at all – gave up on reunions bigtime!
I completely agree with you about being nostalgic for the sake of nostalgia. I too avoid school reunions like the plague…As for FB…. I only use it for my blog.
Same pinch Sunita- so good to find like mindedness on this subject as I have been singled out as the snooty freak by my batchmates 😉
I hear you… I hear you… Although I did have a lot of fun in my school days and college, but I don’t yearn for them, nor do I want those days to come back… I believe we both are always concentrating on making the present much more exciting And adventurous than before.
Oh yes thats the most important thing- to live in the present and now! Deluding oneself with nostalgia can be so destructive! Thanks Raj
Oh I so hate those WhatsApp forwards! I wonder why people have to say good morning to every person on their list. I kind of relate to your thoughts on the school WhatsApp group. I had a similar experience. I couldn’t relate to some of those classmates in the current times and I simply had to leave the group when I could no longer bear the constant banter that made no sense to me! Nostalgia to me is listening to my all time favorite music. It need not be about people all the time, right?
Oh yes Vinodini – nostalgia can be avout anything that makes you feel good about remembering it, in my opinion! I guess some folks were so popular in school and when they grew up that bit faded or they didnt get that recognition again; so they simply latched on it when the reunions happened! I see this so much especially in one of my batchmates. Her pics on insta are just so OTT, I wonder if she needs her head checked – seriously! While the rest of them ooh and aah over them, snidely passing comments to each other and on the face of it they are all best of buddies!!! 😉
I did like my school days and I am still in touch with a couple of my close friends. I don’t attend reunions either or whatsapp groups, if they exist. We do enjoy talking about them but I dont really want to go back there, we’ve moved ahead too much
I think the mature ones grow out of it and treat as a phase in life. But there are some who still behave and tlak as if a teenager and are impossible to be around! They can be irritating to the core and make me wanna slap them 😉
I’ve never been to school reunions nor have I revived any invite. I don’t know why, so I am good-off not receiving the invites and am happy to spend time with family. For me, whatsapp groups are mostly on mute, and FB only for minuscule activity.
I hear your Rohan – we all need to move on in life and grow up! Holding onto those memories and trying to be that person can be annoying for others! I also find a real connect far better than a virtual one!!
The human nature to hold on to the past might be the reason why people who you never even saw while in school suddenly want to be best buds with us. I totally understand your points here.
But the question is why hold onto it? Life would be at another point in the present and that is where one should be at! Wanting to be best buds with me – easy way is to get to know me and show me the respect!!! I hate piggy back riders who just wanna latch onto you for the traction!!! Ugh!!
Thanks for seeing my point Bhavya!!!
Shalz..,.I simply loved your take on the prompt. I’m sure we might end up giving more heed to the past , than needed! Loved it..Once again Kudos!
I neant Kudos* for being the awesome writer that you are!
Thanks so much Z, good to hear you connected to what I was trying to say it here! Thanks a bunch for the praise – it always feels good to hear appreciation from fellow bloggers!! 🙂
I like the angle you’ve taken. School reunions are a rude reminder of how nostalgia’s not fun, I agree. It’s funny how the same people turn up for reunions every year, isn’t it?
Ha ha You are so right Nupur- the ones who turn up are the ones who make it their life to get the reunion happening! They call and message incessantly to be there and oh god it gets painful! Thankfully I am off everyone’s list now!!! Phew! 🙂
It is a mixed feeling in my case! While one school and ppl in it destroyed my confidence other school brought it back and another gave a best friend to hang on to my whole life 😀
Aww heartbreaking when ppl are mean to you in school; can rob a child of so much self esteem!!! Glad you got it all back Keerthi! 🙂
😀
Seriously? 300 good morning messages? Thankfully, I’m not part of any of those groups. I agree with you about that…I have no inclination of going back to school or even college for that matter. The few people I connected with, I’m still in touch with and will catch up with them when I visit India but I hated my school and although I loved my college, wasn’t so fond of all the staff.
Ha Ha yes Sanch! People can be so damn neurotic on social media I tell you. Funniest bit, they will send it spearately to you as well. So you will see it once on the WA grp and once on the prvt message on WA – I have serisouly yelled at such folks for being so god damned insane!!! I HATE WA groups and thats the reason I am didnt sign up on the WT WA group either – the idea is damned good but the way folks behave, is just not up my tolerance zone!!! 😉
I enjoyed my schooldays and uni days. Do I want to go back – no but remembering the good times is fun.
Remembering in some measure is good for me to Suzy but going overboard with it is such a killjoy for me 🙂
That’s a very different take on the prompt, Shalini. I can understand the thought process. You are probably right that being connected on social media isn’t the same as being connected otherwise. But for me, school memories are bittersweet. Made only a couple of friends but that’s enough. The teachers were quite good too; so I like thinking back to the good memories and filter out the bad ones.
My issue is not with the memories itself as much as it is with what is made out of them in the name of nostalgia; hope I am getting my point across there. I made some of the most awesome friends for life in school times and wouldnt give them up for the world!!! Its the nostalgia selling at reunions and on WA groups that really annoys me 😉
Thanks Shalini, you shed light on that side of nostalgia which every one knows exists, but no one wishes to recognize!
– Anagha from Team MocktailMommies
Thanks Anagha – I am glad you connected to what I was trying to say here!! 🙂
OMG!! Shalz, you are my mirror image! My long lost twin, I suppose! 🙂
Ditto for everything, every emotion for those halcyon days…the school years…and the whatsapp groups that only share rubbish…I left the group long back, hated school, was an average student and also a loner. The one close school friend I have is my soul sister who prefers calling up than sharing meaningless messages on WA. I, too, detest reminiscing about those days, meeting the school mates for reunions and going to visit our alma mater and meet our teachers. I think I maybe the only one in the batch who has such feelings for those “good ol’ days”!
Give me a high five, babes! 😛
<3
Ha ha Shilpa I think we connected sometime back over another issue which is like my pet peeve and was yours too!! I guess we are kumbh ke meley mein bichadey huay log 😉 I hear you on meeting the school teachers and visiting school- I have no such desires though my batchmates often do this and post tonnes of pics on FB about it!! Seriously man!!!! If I bump into a teacher somewhere, ofcourse the feeling is good and I do wish them, enquire about them and all but……………………………………………………….
High five right back you darling 🙂
hehe…yeah, Shalz…But….! 😛
My college group is one sane batch. Everyone was good with each other. Never had much of bitching or gossiping people there back in college and even now. We have a whatsapp group which is free of forwards and lame jokes and unwanted Goodmrgs. But we do have chats once in a while. It’s just a place to know that all of them are around.
Thats great to hear! It sounds like a mature group and I feel you are blessed to have them so! Keeping in touch and being updated on each other’s life is the best thing to do! 🙂
I never know how to react, when someone who was mean to me in school, now comes up and says how they admired/liked such and such a thing about me. Seems so fake! Also, people seem to regress, when they meet their school friends. What was irritating in teenage boys, is very creepy in adult men pretending to be teenagers.
Bang on Apeksha!! I hear you so much on this. The fakeness and creepiness is such a common thing at reuinions. I once called out a “friend” for so much bitching – she responded saying I wasnt being a good friend at all!! Whatever…. needless to say I am off her “friend” list now 😉
Lucky you
Ha ha – yes!!! 😉
While I’m not really in touch with many friends from school days, I do have memories that make me nostalgic for them. 🙂 I am not part of any groups or such with old schoolmates, and I’d rather not be added to one either.
I think most of the folks who read this post, commented on how they abhor the WA groups, making me wonder who are the peeps who love them so much!!! Some of my besties are in on the school WA groups and crib and moan about the stuff going on there, but when I tell them to just leave – they dont of fear of being pulled up by the admins of the group. People will take offense and no one wants to sully their PR; annoying stuff I tell you!
Real time connect is the best and then you keep it up with WA/FB to account for the distance or time paucity!!
“Are we ever going to grow out of this narcissism of being the coolest one?” this hit hard. What a lovely post and expressed so well. 🙂
Thanks Ashwini 🙂
I can relate to this. I was always the shy self-conscious one, trying so hard to fit in. Though I don’t reminisce about those days, I wish I could relive them and be more confident this time around.
Aha Mahak; so basically you would like a once over to redo things a different way!! Interesting to hear that! I think at some point in life we all feel so for certain situation/phase where we could have a once over – I can think of a few times 😉
Ah! The simple life! Totally love this post and wishing I can run back in time to simpler happier and well meaning days.
Ha ha Anjana – were they really the simple days! God I am glad to be out of school college and living my independent single life veyr happily 🙂
Especially in a time when we didn’t have phones to document all our moves! Ha ha ha
Oh yeah thats true too!!! But then no “silly” pics of us to haunt us today na 😉
Oh I share a totally similar story there. Hardly in touch with any of those except a handful of real close ones who matter. Haven’t attended any reunion yet nor do plan to attend one anytime soon!!
I hear you Nibha – guess they are overdone things now!! 🙂
Interesting perspective. I love letting my mind wander into the past, though a lot of it is hazy and blurry, but I don’t think that I long for it or would actually want to physically revisit it as is the case with most of my classmates. I see them talking about the ‘good old days’ so wistfully on WhatsApp.