Writing for today’s prompt meant to let you all into a little secret part of me as my strongest and best resource is my independence.
While growing up, I was a shy child and would wait to be included in a group – be it cousins or friends. The wait would bear fruit sometimes, but most often not. It hurted but I chose to immerse myself in books or writing in a diary. It followed suit, that I earned the sobriquet of being snooty.
Slowly I morphed into an introvert but with very strong opinions and a mind of my own. I developed a I-don’t-care persona around me and became a quiet child, only speaking up when it was to stand up for myself or to make a point.
Over the years this trait cocooned me from a lot of hurt, though not loneliness. But how long could the pupa stay hidden?
My transformation into a social butterfly happened when I moved away from home to start my career in a strange new and glitzy city. Staying on my own gave me immense freedom to do things my way, even when it meant not knowing whether I was doing it the right way.
I realised it was my lack of confidence and self-esteem which made me shy as a child.
As an adult living independently, I learnt to spread my wings to do things I had not ever imagined I could or would do.
- Joined a workshop to learn the exotic dance form Salsa (never mind the two left feet)
- Cooked impromptu meals for 10 people (when I didn’t even cook for myself)
- Made friends on commutes (terribly long ones in a metro cities)
- Traveled alone at odd hours (even odder transports too)
- Drove a car in New Delhi (sans google maps) and wasnt shy to ask for directions from strangers
- Explored the nooks and corners of Delhi from Priya, Sarojini Nagar, Dili Haat, NGMA, museums, underground markets to theatre circuits of BCL, SiriFort, Kamani – all by myself
- Took up sketching classes in Lodhi garden
- Photography workshops wherein I explored some terrific Delhi monuments and spaces ( Humayun tomb, Jantar Mantar, Phool Mandi)
I evolved into an adventurous person, out to live her life to the fullest.The lack of company didn’t deter me from going to movies, shopping, enjoying a drive on a rainy day, or joining hobby classes.
In time,my status changed from being lonely to being on my own. I learnt to not get bored ever in my company. My biggest strength has been my independence and the confidence to harness it to live my life on my own terms.
[bctt tweet=”I live and let live!!!” username=”@shalz75″]
Today, I treat myself to a sunday brunch at my favourite cafe where it’s just me and my current read and a glass of my favourite vino!!!
Hola my readers – what did you of my biggest resource? What do you think is your greatest strength?
I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6
Day1 – A Treasure that I cherish
That’s an amazingly honest post, Shalz. Loved it. It’s wonderful to know someone like you (never mind virtually) and see you become the person you so wanted to be always! You are an example of inspiration to so many I’m sure! Wishing more power to you Shalz!
Muaaah Esha!!! I loved hearing this and I hope we are able to meet someday soon!!! In the meantime I would really love to connect more as I feel we have much in common and respect each other over the virutal world!!! 😉 I am not sure of being an inspiration but am glad to have sorted out some of my issues and managing to live happily hereafter….. !
I believe in living and let live as well! Sadly, majority of our society doesn’t!
I wish I could drive and be more independent, too! To not get bored in your own company is a great achievement!
Thanks Z – yup learning to drive is one of the best things I did for myself in my life!!! Hopefully you discover it soon too! 🙂
Hey gal much love! So glad to get to know this free spirited side of you, I see a lot of similarities between what you wrote and how my life has transformed from being a moderately shy person to someone who is vocal and not afraid to take charge. I loved your take on the prompt and would love my girl to read this when she’s older
Wow!! I mean wow!!! You have just made my day *virtual hugs* I wish you were in front of me to be able to express my joy at reading this!
Thank you!!!!!
A while back, a fall out with a ” blogging friend” had resulted in her telling me that my writing sucks and people laugh at what I write about! I actually hit a huge low in my writing-esteem when this happened!
Today reading your comment makes me happy to have found the courage to write on with my heart and reading comments like yours affirms my faith in my writing! I dont think my words here can convey my gratitude for the strength I have found through your words – Thank you is actually trivial to express my gratitude!!!
And yes our posts have so many similarities!!! Much love and power to your verve woman!!! Cheers
Hats off to you Shalz, for overcoming your shyness. I strongly believe that an independent woman, is a happy woman.
Thanks Apeksha – and you have hit the nail on the head!! From driving myself to traveling on my own to finding a house, moving house – I love my independence through it all!! Cheers
You are wonderful Shalini! I enjoyed reading your post. It is amazing how time away from home speeds up developing self-confidence! I admire you for evolving into the person you are!
Thank you so m uch Vidya for such lovely words! Yes staying away from home made me grow up real fast but I enjoyed almost all of those moments!! I am grateful to have been blessed with enough sense to evolve into a better person rather than being sulky or acting the victim because I had to do everything on my own!!! 🙂
That sense of independence and devil may care attitude is what I like about you Shalini. Glad you were able to break out of your shelf and move from being lonely to being on your own. Such a big difference between the two states.
Thanks Shinjini! Yes its a huge difference and I am thankful for achieving it!
It is amazing to know how you have evolved as a lovely, skilled and confident woman, Shalini. Your personality shines through your words and it’s truly awe-inspiring. So proud of you. ♥
Thanks so much Shilpa – this means a lot to me as you have actually met me and still saying so 😉
I am kinda blushing too actually!!! Hope to see you soon to give you a big big huggy!!
Aha! I never hearing of the evolution of a butterfly. Loved hearing yours too. Nothing beats the experience of living on your own, learning from your mistakes and creating your own comfort zone. Way to go Shalzz Bindass!!
Thanks you so much Kala – I am revelling in it all , even today 😉
Good that you became independent, and that you broke out of that introvert phase with a lot of adventures. 🙂 Shows your confidence! 😀
Thanks Vinay – yes confidence is the key to it all!! 🙂
Such an inspiring soul, dear Shalini. I can see traces of myself in you, especially the shy introvert who didn’t make many friends and who later harnessed her independence. Fellow Arien and all that.I haven’t done even half the things you have though and that’s an amazing list!
Thank you so much Shy – everytime you stop on my blog, my heart skips with joy! Fellow Arien – fist bump to that!!! Hope your health is better now! Cheers 🙂
This is such a beautiful and inspiring post! Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks Nikita- glad you enjoyed reading it 🙂
I’m an introvert, but not the least bit shy. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve described here, having grown up an only child who generally preferred the company of adults to kids my own age. It all evened out in my twenties.
Yeah age evens out after a while, once you reach a certain age!! I too have friends in all age groups these days and feel comfy interacting with them all.
Apeksha, few Indian women manage to break out— kudos to you for doing so. We’re taught to take second place for so long that we end up doing it all our lives.
I think you meant to leave this comment on Apeksha’s blog D 🙂
A lovely post.. A positive approach to being alone and the challenges of, well, living. This post resonated for me on so many levels. What fantastic resources to have 🙂
Thanks so much Ish – guess we are more alike than we thought 😉
I resonate with this so much…most of my childhood and college years I was shy, awkward and waiting to be included. People always thought I was snooty but really I was just waiting to be be spoken to before speaking.
I’m so happy for you that you went out of your comfort zone to take up all those activities and eventually transformed into a beautiful and confident butterfly.
Thanks Mahak – yeah those were awkard and trying times. I can empathise with you on this! 🙂
I am so proud of you Shalini. We are the same in so may ways. Before wedding, I used to live in Chennai alone, for work. I used to explore each and every corner of the city alone. Shopping, fending for myself and commute included. It was fun. I miss this so-called freedom not because I’m married. But because of the closed Cantt location. Well, I still go around by my own though 😛
Hi five and a fist bump there Shalzzy!! Someday we are going to connect off the virtual world and then kick up a storm out there!! 😉
What an adventurer you are I too started socialising after I finished my degree… Living in a new city filled with strangers indeed brings out the best in us. Wow you know salsa too. Awesome
Barely know salsa now Raj – learnt it 15 years back and still have two left feet!! 😉
Independant living has its perks – doesnt it!?!
It feels nice to know that a warm, friendly, and super adorable person like you has a similar story to mine. Your journey is incredible and I admire the way you’ve honed your life and independence by indulging in various activities! Kudos to you girl for the smooth and beautiful metamorphosis from a cocooned introvert to a social butterfly 🙂
Oh my dear fellow butterfly this is such fantastic appreciation that has me blushing as I read it!! 😉
Thank you so much for it and I have been missing your posts – hopefully you will upload them soonest!!
I would say independence is my biggest strength too. Because while I have some people close to me, I know I can do things on my own and be okay too.
I hear you Raney – its a boon to recognise ones independence and what it allows one to achieve 🙂
Your post inspired me to try harder to become a better person. I have come a long away from letting my introvert self vanish and gaining confidence, but still there are some times i give away place for self doubt in my life, which i hate! I guess i need to stop doing that.
Hey this is so awesome to read. Its ok to be doubtful sometime; we all have doubts and they keeo us from getting over confident. Dont hate it, evaluate it to see where it takes you.
Yeah working on that 🙂
Attagirl!! all the best with that 🙂
🙂
You are my hero! <3
Same story during childhood and hoping to change it in adulthood, or should I say, midlife? 🙂
Hugs!
Hugs right back at ya Shilpa – someday we will talk it out and weep on each other’s shoulders till it stops hurting so much!! Keep going and ping me when you cant 🙂