He’s a stud, she’s a slut!

Picture this: a twenty-something single guy. Working in a job he enjoys. Paying bills. Living in a share house. Catching up with mates after work or on the weekends. Meeting girls either via Tinder or through his mates. He doesn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. He is open about that to them. He hooks up with them – a one night stand, sometimes once more. And then continues. After all, it’s about having fun. He wants to live life to the fullest. He doesn’t want to settle down.

His mates think he’s a stud. Look at all the girls he gets. The hot ones, the not-so-hot ones — he must be great in bed. They shout him drinks as he regaled them with his escapades. It’s all in good fun and after all, sex never hurt anyone.

Now picture this: a twenty-something single girl. Does exactly the same things as the guy. Is independent. Works in a job she loves. Does not want to be in a committed relationship and is open about it. She meets several guys; goes out on dates and hooks up with them. She has one-night stands, maybe some more. After all, she is having fun. Living the life she wants without feeling tied down.

BUT…the automatic response from the guys she sees, the male and female friends she has is not the same as the guy. Rather, she is deemed a slut. After all, what well-brought up woman with morals would sleep around?

This double standard between men and women’s sex lives has been common for years. It spans cultures and ages. I remember while growing up in India, it was more about which girl was ‘girlfriend material’ and which one was ‘wife material’. Back then, apparently the ‘girlfriend’ material girls were the ones who would date. But the wife? She would be the pure virgin the ‘stud’ would eventually marry after having his share of fun with the ‘girlfriends’.

Sadly, not much has changed in 2017.

Women are still subjected to scrutiny over their sex lives. God forbid, a single adult woman chooses to have sex with a man she is not in a committed relationship with. The judgements begin from both men and women. She is labelled a slut because apparently, that’s the worst thing you can call a woman. Or she is viewed as ‘easy’ or ‘loose’.

Men, on the other hand, can continue to ‘spread their seed’ because apparently, that’s a good thing. Or the way nature intended.

I call bullshit on that.

This is a Guest post written for a campaign on my blog for creating an awareness on how much we put others or ourselves down on physical aspects, personality traits, financial status, perceived notions and mindsets conditioned by years of nonsensical vagaries.