As a single girl who just started living on her own in a metropolis like Delhi, it wont be at all wrong to assume that I was one of those totally consumed with the single woman life version of the popular sitcom Sex and the City. There! I said it.
It’s another matter that the male population of the teeming metro have only been able to filter in the word Sex from it. So as a single woman, living alone – I had two very big advantages.
- Single Woman
- Living alone
Put them together, every man – married on not; had to hit on me!
Sadly the 30+ single men populace of the city were a disappointing lot when it came to impressing me. I was looking to be wooed into “that” perfect relationship which leads to one place – holy matrimony! They were looking to explore sexual options, without spending too much for it !! Shaadi, btw, will happen when “mummyji” finds a “suitable” girl!!!
And of course the married ones ( 30+, 40+, even 50+) wanted sex too but this was to be a no strings attached deal; which in their heads (the one between their legs) was a win-win situation all around.
How???????????, you ask!!
I did too and now stay tuned for some real pearls of wisdom from these so-called SUNS around whom the planet called WIFE orbits in her perfect universe of MARRIAGE, unaware that they are busy upgrading to LOVERS looking for SATELLITES a.k.a. girlfriends!!!
SUN Type 1 (ST1): My wife does not love me anymore, forcing me to look elsewhere for it. I am so lonely.
Me: As a single woman dreaming about marriage, why would I be interested in being your love interest? Why would I want to tie myself to a dead-end relationship?
(ST1): Only till you are single, you are of course free to find someone to get married to. I am not asking you to fall in love with me.
Me: If we do fall in love, wont that be worth it? Wont that be enough to leave her to begin a marriage with me?
(ST1): Are you crazy? Why would I want to wreck my “respectable” marriage with a girl from a good family for a girl who has no compunction in sleeping with me before marriage? God knows how many you have slept with before me! You sleep with me and I will take you out shopping and to places to eat and……..
Me…….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> runs away!
SUN Type 2 (ST2): Since I travel so much for work, it gets boring in the evening and the bar is the perfect place for me to hook-up with like-minded women looking for the same. Whats wrong with that?
Me: Nothing wrong with that as long as you both are consenting adults. But when you apply it to me, I am not interested. (My questions remain the same as above)
(ST2): You are young and beautiful (translation: single and living alone) and would love to do it with you.
Me: But whats in it for me? I am looking for a long-term relationship.
(ST2): So who says this arrangement can’t work for as long as we are interested.
Me: Then why have a wife?
(ST2): She looks after my kids and parents and generally takes care of the family functions – which ones to go for, what to take, what to wear…. Who will do all that for me?
Me: When we get married, me!!
(ST2): Oh baby you are to be worshipped in my fantasies, not taken home to mom!!!!
Me…….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yup you guessed it; still running away to date!
Sun Type 3 (ST3) is found on an online dating portal for singles.
(ST3): I am just looking for some fun thats why am here. Why does my married status bother you so much to say an outright no to me. You are such a racist.
Me: Racist!!? How?
(ST3): You discriminate against married men! And if you are looking to be so pious and want single men, I suggest you go to shaadi.com because “Good girls” don’t look for “dates”!!!
BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK!!!!!
Essentially an overwhelming double standards exists out there against single women looking to date as they are “convenient” as sexual options but not “pure” enough to be married to! And this by men who are looking for adulterous relationships!
Welcome to the Indian version of Sex and the city !! 😉
Come support this initiative with your opinion if you feel strongly about body/image shaming; for I am hosting folks writing their experiences, opinions on this topic on my blog for next few weeks.
This post has been written for the Third prompt of the #BarAThon “ Suns and lovers” – My eternal question in defense on single womens rights – Is looking to go out on a date means we are setting ourselves up to be branded as whores? Why is it OK for married men to have affairs in the name of fun but single women to have fun is such blasphemy?
You can Catch the other posts in this series here:
SMH…always ridiculous excuses!
Hmmm & still women – women want sons! Men & double standards!
I’m a mom of sons and I really have to raise them a way that they know how to treat anithe human!
Imagine that!!! And we women still dream of a perfect man!!! 😉
Alas men think that all single women are easy prey. And men who stray don’t stop at single women either.
Very true Sunita- these mens brains are you know where….So!!!!!! 😉
A harsh reality of Indian Society. These men loves to indulge in extra marital relationships but does not want anyone to know about it. On top of that, they judge the one they go to.
So true Upasna- really dumb and idiotic men with brains between their legs …. 😉
Well said and well done.
Thanks so much!!!
Seriously? People say such stupid things? Dumb AF
Not worth your time and energy hun…BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK
Click to Read my #Barathon2017 Seven Deadly Sins posts
Thanks Deepa… Yeah these are true accounts n have heard such things straight from the horses mouth. You see I am a small town girl and they all thought…… 😉
Perfectly described the desi version of sex and the city. Loved your stance!
Ha ha… Thanks Akshata. Glad you connected to it!! Have a really funny tale of Sex and the City which I posted on my blog long back…. It’s a true account. I should repost it 🙂
Double standards have become normal for everyone. I like the take on the prompt bold and beautiful
ohh god!! where exactly did you find these morons!! I would have thrown a cow at them 😛 Pure and Respected 😛
sadly, I do have friends who’ve fallen for these lines from married men… and its been an uphill climb getting them out of the emotional turmoil of it all.
You have hit the bull’s eye with this post…there you go girl…Most men these days want a non-commited relationship, they just want to hook up, sleep and escape to their wives…loved this post..sharing
It’s truly sad about how men view single women. I wonder how they’d react of their wives started looking at single men the same way.
what the hell… men and their stupid obnoxious mentality. Men and their view for women, for them only theor moms and wives are pious rest all are meant to be consumer. Sick Sick Sick.
here’s mine – http://www.gleefulblogger.com/2017/06/29/suns-lovers-barthon/
Oh, my God!! … I am in between, in a sense a little type like the wife type and a little adventurous that is if I got a guy of my own I want so much out of him – mostly spending time talking, telling stories, craking jokes, doing some crazy unexpected stuff, someone with substance not some hollow idiot !! … Dating a stranger is extremly boring too unless they are interesting and frankly these guys are so big losers!! What the hell!! … having a good time is like being with someone who is fun for you to spend time it and they just want sexx!! Really what the hell… I read in paper that there is ladies night where ladies are allowed to take free coacktails, that’s good and safe for women to be hang out by herself. Anyway… I hope you find someone interesting who is crazy enough, suits you, is nice to spend time with and not waste your time and patience just wanting sex!! … and even if sex is there it’s not just physical, its heart and soul connection, it’s knowing everybit of someone because well person interested you and it’s discovering soul… else it’s lifeless and boring): …anyway…I am glad I don’t meet men like that…yuck…it’s Delhi, Bangalore is cool place I guess…anyway dedicating Dirty Picture to these men with double standards
its better you don’t go dating, instead find people similar to your interests by joining a community… trekking, foodie community, cycling, or any such groups, even if you don’t find your guy, I bet you will find better people with whom you can have a good time with. Wanting sex is one thing but having no concern for the girl and appreciate her for what is she is extremely degrating. Join a club, green club, trekking, travel club, any club where there would be better and interesting people. Even yoga community, story telling groups and such things would help I think.
Thanks Prreeya – I will take your advise under consideration! 🙂