“Adventure isn’t hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day-to-day obstacles in life.” – John Amatt
They say we all carry a stock of Karma akin to debt which needs to be paid off, regardless of who we are and where we are.
People walk in and out of our lives – thanks to our Karma!
Situations arise and settle, as per our Karma!
Dr. Brien Weiss has come up with an intriguing discovery which he calls Past Life Regression. One of the main point there is that the same set of people revolve in our lives, but their roles might differ. In one life A might be your mother, in next A could be your teacher, etc. The sole purpose of this is to finish off our debts with them – once that happens, they cease to be a part of any of our lives henceforth.
So when I put these two things together, I come upon the fact that the peeps in my present day life are meant to be there via my Karmic destiny!
Wonderful!
I am almost always stuck with people who just take, take and take from my life without giving anything back. If I go back to the two points above, its doesn’t look too promising about my life and Karma does it?
Take for instance this friend X with whom I bonded over a love of books and conversations. We got along fabulously or so I thought. I would bake something and post a pic on Instagram, she would message to send her some. Ofcourse I would! But the day she cooked something and boasted about it, I never got any. No not even after saying so!! How mean is that – right?
Status: No longer an active member in my life!
Or this friend who always wanted to bum a ride with me. Going for a movie; pick her up too. Sunday grocery shopping, she has to go too. Found a new cafe, she would want a ride there. I made a new friend, she invites herself to the meetup. I have a bookmeet, she wants in on it. Never once did she discover a cafe, club or event where she asked me along. I still don’t get why I was destined to be her personal chauffeur-cum event manager?
Status: No longer an active member in my life!
Another one has these conversations with me on whatsapp :
She: If you have cooled down, lets clear the air.
Me: Too much on my plate at the moment, will do this once a bit free. (I was in the midst of a desperate house hunt with only a week to eviction – she was aware of it)
She: Maybe there is nothing to clear anyways. It’s not like I am free or anything. Got tonnes to do too. Take care
Yet another time:
She: I was wondering if I can put XYZ feature on my blog.
Me: Sure you can, its your blog and you design it the way you want.
She: Looks like you are too busy to talk to me right now. Forget it.
Ummm! Ok!! What did I do wrong here?
Status: No longer an active member in my life!
Everytime these kind of people walk into my life, they drain me out leaving me feeling inadequate as a human being. Mind you, most of these are friendships that lasted at least two years. Am I a terrible friend? Or simply bad at picking up the signs? Should I stop making friends?
A practicing Buddhist friend told me to be grateful as I am helping these people release their bad Karma; in turn earning good one for myself. I wondered if I could opt out of this programme by any chance? Hello Divine are you listening?
My cousin tells me time and again, “how do you end up attracting all of them and so many of them?” and I find myself mulling about this too!!
Since you all know why Kattappa killed Bahubali, can you put your minds to work on my query please?
Please don’t say Karma or I swear I will make a voodoo doll of you and stick pins into it!!! 😉
Linking up with Sanchie & Corinne for Friday Reflections
And
Shantala for the #ChattyBlogs
You can stick pins into me because I do believe it’s KARMA. There are people who come into your lives for a particular period because that is the extent of karmic debt that is left to be paid off. Does that make sense? I found Brian Weiss’ book really fascinating and in a very amateur attempt at a past life regression, I actually found that in one lifetime I was a Greek sailor on a battle ship that went down burning. That could to some extent explain my irrational fear of being burnt alive…..And yes, I too have had a few friendships that were one sided and kind of stressful to manage. There was another book I once read called Friendshifts ( I can’t remember the author’s name) but that explains how friendships are not eternal and why we shouldn’t feel sorry when they change.
I hear you Sunita and no I wont be sticking pins in you as I know this to be true! I am just hoping for another answer or seriously just opting out of this plan – its morbid and depressing and just makes me feel terrible all the time!!
Friendshifts – havent heard about but shall check at your recco – thanks for the share!!
I don’t know, I guess it’s probably just people being weird and not understanding that other people have emotions too. Nothing to do with karma, in my opinion!
Ha ha Thanks Mithila – no voodoo for you 😉
I really wish people were not so weird!!!
I have stopped believing in Karma for precisely these very reasons ;-D
Welcome to BAR!:)
Thanks Mayuri. I still believe in it and everyday! Sigh was hoping for some rationalization other than it!! 🙂
The one use of “karma” (probably a misuse) in my culture is the saying “Karma is a B*tch” ( a variation of the “what goes around comes around” theme.) I can see you reaching for the doll and pins now, but, seriously, I love that expression because it is so satisfying when you see it in action. Yes, I know that’s a bit mean spirited but in 64 years you see a lot. The mere thought of someone who is a total pain in my life having been, perhaps, my mother in a previous life, is not a happy one, but on the other hand, it is comforting to know loved ones who are no longer alive will show up in a future time.
Ha ha ha Alana – I so so hear you girl!!!
I dont want to giveit back to them or even them getting it back anyways- it relaly hurts and wouldnt want to see others getting hurt either; no matter what they did to me!
I just wish I could switch off the hurt when it happens!!! 🙁
Well if it’s karma, then I’ve done some real shit in my past life. I like to think I’m a decent person and like you, I give a lot in friendships and relationships and inevitably get let down. The worst was about two years ago when I realised some friends had started to exclude me from their catch ups but had used me when they were in trouble. It hurts and I spiralled into the black hole of depression which lasted 18 months. I’d like to think it’s not karma but just people being arseholes and having their own issues.
Awww hugs Sanch!! I know n feel what you have written here- gone through similar stuff.
Worst part, after every hurt I dust myself, wallow a bit and then despite telling myself I won’t get too close…. I do!!! Dang!!!
Karna is not just a bitch but a Merry go round too 😉
Hugs!!!
I don’t know about Karma, perhaps it does play a role, but I guess the bottom line is that people are mean…they expect a lot and give nothing in return. Best to put them out of our lives because all they do is suck the energy out of us.
Shubhangi @ The Little Princess
Oh thats exactly what it is. I should say that to myself more often. I am so done with so many peeps on my TL and life that its not funny. Making friends is indeed stressful.
Hahaha! Despite your quandary, this was a delightful read! Pardon me! My take…youbare not alone. All of us have such people around us and all of us are wondering…why me? So just chill and go with the flow. Cheers!
Thanks Kala. Thats re assuring to know but honestly it seems to be just me in these sticky situations. Sigh! Should pace out making friends now!!!!!
Karma! It’s true about such people who suck our energy and drain them to the core. It took me long to flush out such negative people and there are many, including personal relatives that I am slowly cutting off. There are people in a relationship who are all about themselves and not making extra effort to give.
Even after saying bye to lot of these drainers – I seem to get more in the guis eof new friends!!! Damn!
I believe in karma. Especially when people do you wrong. I’ve seen it so many times where someone has hurt me in the past only to hear later on that karma has gotten them in some way. Not that I hope for that whenever I don’t get along with someone or a person hurts me. Just sort of happens.
But I agree with what you’ve written. I honestly do believe certain people come into our lives for a reason, such as people you become friends with. And I think what you do about those situations also plays a heavy role in what happens next, whether it be the friendship ends or you’re in a friendship and the person is constantly taking advantage of you, but you don’t say anything to them about it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
So true Raney!! I wish I knew the trick to avoid all of this hurt!! 🙂
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a way we can avoid hurt in life. I really believe there’s a balance between good and bad, and that we are given as much as we can handle.
I hear you Raney…. Thanks gorgeous!
Hi Shalini, I do believe in Karma and that people come into and go from our lives for a reason. Even difficult relationship or situations are because we have certain debts to clear off. Having said that, we cannot completely absolve ourselves of our thoughts and actions in the present. It pays to be a little cautious in picking up certain signs that might tell you something more than the person, you can perhaps call it relying on the gut. Sometimes, misunderstandings happen and it depends on the strength of the relationship to see if it survives those.
Like Kala said, despite your quandary, this made for a delightful, fun read. I hope you find more friends that deserve you and do not take advantage. Welcome to the BAR! And, I’ll RT for good karma 😉
Thanks so much Uma for the RT and the advise. I am very happy to be in this blogging community of warm loving people who have welcomed me like a warrior returning home!!! 😉
I believe in karma but not in being taken for a ride, over and again. If someone is in it only to take and not give then sooner or later the relationship deteriorates. Just consider all the good deeds adding to your Karma points. And be cautious in the future.
I wish I knew the difference or rather I wish I knew the way to spot the difference miles in advance and save up on the hurt 🙂
Five months ago, my response to your post would have been very, very different. I’d have told you to cut these people out of your life, move on and do the right thing. Today, though, the message is going to be slightly different. People do come into our lives for a reason. If you’ve read Neale Donald Walsch, they are called the little souls, the ones who help us become better versions of ourselves. I honestly believe that to be true.
It’s why I explain clearly to people if I cannot be there for them and hope they will understand. If they do not, I don’t stress about it but move on to the next step in my life. Life is very short for us to spend it thinking about what people may be thinking about us. Being with the people who love you for who you are- now that’s priceless 🙂 Wishing you lots of friends and the good kind, in your new home.
Thanks so much Shy- these words are so golden and pure!! I shall read them again and again now whenever the situation arises!! much love and hugs!!!!
I have to second what Shailaja has said. I believe life is too short to worry about the things that did not last. And I know that this is easier said than done, but trust me, this is the only way to maintain your sanity. And in the long run, you will thank yourself for it.
I agree too Shantala and for that eveyr reason, deleted a blog that was nasty by my standards over this issue!! I have been talking to Shailaja quite often for this blogging nastiness and he has been advising me to ignore it too!!
I am going to take your advise to my heart too – thank you for caring about me to say it so!!! 🙂
I dont know about karma but i think in a different perspective. Others might not perceive things the way we do. So if someone is taking me for granted, i think, she is not me and so she wont feel grateful. And i stop involving her in my life and the relationship changes to formal hi, bye.
Thanks Ramya. I think I get what you are saying – it does make a lot of sense to just let go! 🙂
I definitely believe in Karma and have seen it in my own eyes..When people have come back my family has always forgiven and we have taken people back into our life
Simple Indian Mom Has Recently Published
*Menaka Bharathi *
*SimpleIndianMom*