Shave or Crave

They say, if you want to know what kind of man she would like, look at her father. Girls often compare the men they date/marry with their fathers. Makes sense as they grow up around them and base their knowledge of men on the only male figure they see around them day in and day out. So, I am no exception to this rule.

As a child, I remember my father’s daily morning routine when I would sit by the basin while he shaved. I was fascinated by the entire process – he would wet the brush and rub it all over his face. Then he would rub the brush in a pink color “tikki” which was the soap pad; gather the lather and then rub it all over his face. I was mesmerised by the way the lather would grow and often drip on me. I loved playing in its soapy effervescence, often my dad would throw some at me playfully. Then came the razor to clean it all away, sometimes the nicks and cuts came with it too, which I hated. And finally the slapping of some old spice aftershave lotion – how I loved the smell of it. Even today, that smell is associated with this childhood memory. Such was his routine that it was same on Sundays too. To date, I can’t imagine my dad with stubble nor have I ever seen him never shave. Needless to say, I grew up picturing all men to be clean-shaven ones like him.

While growing up, I had loads of sardarni friends and their dads were a mystery to me. All that hair on the face – looked gross. Not to mention that all the sardar men looked the same to me. I wondered how the women distinguished between them. I would often ask my friends whether they would marry sardars when they grew up and they would all without a fail say YES! My next question was how would they kiss? The kiss would be covered with so much hair, all in their mouth and for the life of me I couldn’t imagine how that was pleasurable. My friends and I would giggle over this endlessly. And I would always say that I will marry a clean-shaven man.

Onwards to the dating scene, I did end up kissing a few men with moustache and boy it was disgusting. So much so that I stopped dating anyone with any form of overtly facial hair. Watching a man with moustache eat, where his furry lip got as much food in it as his mouth; was simply disgusting. So I swore off men with fuzzy lips and cheeks.

When I got into a serious relationship, it was with a seemingly clean-shaven man. But as we cohabited, I discovered the other side. While courting me, he was careful to shave and looks clean but once he managed to “patao” me, the shaving went out of the window. When I complained that his stubble scratched me, nicked me, felt itchy and unclean; his responses were to “kiss” my hurt, adding insult to injury!!

His classic excuses for not shaving were :

1) My skin is so sensitive; it hurts to shave everyday.

2) Sunday is not a day for shaving.

3) It’s the “gabroo” look!

4) For a change, the stubble looks nice.

5) You always complain about the basin being full of hair after I shave. Saved you the hassle of cleaning it now sweety!

Aaaaargh! how I fumed and ranted and raved over this. But it continued………..

One day when I had enough, I gave him an ultimatum – either shave or crave. Simply put, no cuddling, no kissing, no making out till he is shaved and clean. So if he wants to have an off day from shave, it’s an off day from “us” too. I refused to even go out with him looking shabby and unclean. I went as far as oohing and aahing over some of my friend’s BF/husbands who were always so well-groomed while mine looked like a hobo!

Needless to say, this worked like a charm. There were still some days when the stubble showed its ugly face but the frequency of it has lessened. And I no longer have to put up with scratches and bruises anymore.


A serious note to all the men out there, we women hate the stubble! It does nothing for your sexy quotient. On the contrary its tells of your laziness, lack of grooming etiquette and low self-esteem. It does not make you look macho or manly no matter what lion/tiger metaphor you use as an analogy to support the claim. So guys, free yourself of the itch to scratch and invest in a good shaving kit and routine!!!

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2 thoughts on “Shave or Crave

    1. And men dont!???? I cant tell you how many jokes are cracked at the expense of our facial hair,etc. We are asked to wax, bleach and put on make up by the so called men!! Ya phir weight par comment hota hai.

      Wo alag baat hai ki aap unme se nahin ho!! 😉 But I would still tell you stubble is not worth the trouble! Clean shaven is always in. 😉

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